Wishing and waiting

The all-star game is not really terribly interesting anymore to me, though I'm sure I'll be watching on the final night before my voyage to Alaska. While I am gone, I am hopeful the Brewers will accomplish some things to salvage this disaster that has taken over since the calendar turned June.

My hopes:

1. Doug Davis. I'm not stupid enough to think Roy Halladay will be theirs, so I am merely hoping for a smaller-scale acquisition that would benefit the team's talent-starved rotation. I don't think Davis is leagues better than Braden Looper and Jeff Suppan, but he's enough stability to provide the needed depth.

2. Felipe Lopez. While the Brewers are in the wheeling and dealing spirit, how about a real second baseman so the team doesn't have to start at least two of Craig Counsell (old guy having nice year but starting to show the wear and tear), Casey McGeheee (nice rookie story not destined to last) and Mat Gamel (rookie not really given a chance but with plenty of room to get better).

3. A healthy Dave Bush. If he's back, he should be his no-walk, bend-but-seldom-break self, and that would be a welcome revival.

4. A competent Manny Parra. His last start before the All-Star break netted seven shutout innings, allowing fans to irrationally envision the benefits of a Triple-A demotion on the same scale as Cliff Lee. If he pitches like that, well then who needs another SP?

5. A road trip that isn't completely embarrassing. When I'm gone, the Brewers will play zero road games, which means they could have completely ruined themselves from pennant contention by the time I fly home. Hope that doesn't happen.

6. A signed draft class. When a club like the Brewers takes extra care in signing draft picks, it makes me nervous that top-flight selections such as outfielder Kentrail Davis (Boras client) and pitchers Kyle Heckathorn and Steven Hall haven't signed yet. Please get that done. The franchise needs pitching, and yesterday.

7. A departed Bill Hall and Jody Gerut. They are stains.

8. Alcides Escobar. After standing staunchly in the JJ Hardy camp all year, I'm starting to come around to the idea that Escobar would plainly make a better option at shortstop for the Brewers, and Hardy could net something on the trade market.

9. Freddy Sanchez. It would be difficult because Sanchez would be around next year, and assumedly, so will Rickie Weeks. A follow-up trade might be necessary, but Sanchez fits this year's team like a glove.

10. ROY HALLADAY. Did I say I was rational enough to know this can't happen? That's only half my brain. The other half of my brain is dreaming of bad sideburns and complete games.

I'm going to Alaska

On Wednesday, I depart on an eight-day voyage to Alaska, returning next Friday and hopefully enjoying a relaxing belated honeymoon way north of the border. A quick rundown of some things we'll be doing on our trip. It is confirmed that this post is intended to breed jealousy in you, loyal readers.

1. Talkeetna. There are many train rides on our land tour extraordinaire, including an eight-hour ride that promises some of the more scenic possibilities in the United States. I may go stir crazy without internet and nothing but conversation for all those hours, but Liz will have to do.

2. Denali. Another Alaskan wilderness hotspot, we will be enjoying a Cabin Nite Dinner in an "authentic log-paneled roadhouse" where there will be ribs, salmon and a musical (?)

3. Denali National Park. Supposedly there will be wildlife, including caribou. I like caribou.

4. Whitewater Rafting. We'll be doing that someplace called "Canyon Run." That's probably all you need to know.

5. Portage Lake. In some place called Alyeskia, we'll be out on the water hanging out as close to a glacier as possible. I can only hope there will be penguins. Is that unrealistic?

6. Kenai Fjords. More ice.

7. Anchorage. It's where we will arrive, but we'll also take a tour of the city at the end and learn about the local culture and such.

8. Sourdough Mining Company. One of the premier places to eat in Alaska, and we'll be chowing there late in the visit. I prefer food to most things.

9. Puppies? We'll have a day to ourselves in Anchorage, and I am hoping we can find a sled-dog farm nearby, where we can hang out with a bunch of little husky dogs.

10. Sarah Palin. Since everyone wants to know if we can say "hi" to her while we're there, I feel compelled to oblige.

The Best of 2009, Part 1?

The first half of the year is over, which means I have compiled a list of songs likely to be on the Best of 2009 year-end album. I still have to get around to someday restructuring the albums that were stolen away, perhaps going back as far as 2000. But in the meantime, I can only look forward, with the 2007 and 2008 discs as the only ones in my possession. Perhaps this next disc will be the best one yet, but that's likely to be false. The early candidates include:

1. Careless Whisper by Seether. A song I vaguely enjoyed from the 80s, amped up by one of the heavier rock bands on the modern rock scene -- that's a match made in heaven.

2. Got Jealous by Hurt. The best track off the new album from one of my favorite bands, starts with an oft-repeated and brain-sticking opening line and rocks through several different segments.

3. Fall Down by Tantric. It's kind of folksy, but the non-album track has a catchy flavor to it.

4. Wars by Hurt. A punishing guitar riff, something you can rely on from these guys.

5. You Found Me by The Fray. Perhaps too much airplay, but the song is really accessible and generates some real emotion.

6. Closer by Kings of Leon. Not a terribly huge fan of the band, but this album track is a haunting masterpiece.

7. Ordinary World by Red. Early 90s, but the same formula as "Careless Whisper" makes this one a winner.

8. All I Want by Staind. As the band desperately tries to get happier, they have created some pretty interesting songs.

9. Better Sorry Than Safe by Halestorm. A song I first heard live at Summerfest, and perhaps will hear alive again if I see the Stimulate This tour in Chicago as tentatively planned.

10. Stay by Safetysuit. Compelling chorus, and enough of a good song to overcome the pedestrian lyrics.

The art of not failing

I found myself amused by a list of phrases yahoo.com urged you to avoid when composing a resume. I always prided myself on having a well-constructed resume, but there are so many cliche catch phrases that make you sound cooler (even if the employer may disagree), and I think I may have used some of these winners.

Note: I am NOT looking for a new job or anything. I may not know a lot about the economy, but I know when the water is full of electric eels that it's a good idea to not jump in.

1. Results-oriented professional. What do pros want if they don't want results? The answer is spumoni ice cream.

2. Cross-functional teams. I have no idea what this means, other to say I worked with people who did more than one thing. Played solitaire AND freecell at work?

3. More than (x) years of progressively responsible experience. I don't know how responsibility becomes more progressive and I know nobody who would use this phrase.

4. Superior (or excellent) communication skills. Now this one I actually used. I suppose everyone should be expected to communicate well, but dammit, at some point you should be allowed to say "most everyone in my office was stupid, and I stood out because I could communicate."

5. Strong work ethic. Yeah, kind of boring and expected. I'm pretty sure I put "average work ethic, but gets by nicely on talent alone" on one resume.

6. Met or exceeded expectations. Well no shit, or you wouldn't be putting that part of your job experience on the resume.

7. Proven track record of success. I don't think this is an inherent flaw, but you'd have to be more specific with sexy bullet points explaining how that success was "proven," as in, measured.

8. Works well with all levels of staff. This sounds like a variation on the "plays well with others" compliment given to kindergartners on their "report cards."

9. Team player. If I had a resume, I would never write this, because I'll be honest -- I hate working in teams. Chances are my individual competence exceeds the competence of the collective. I don't want team players. I want leaders who are forced to work with others and make the best of it by delegating judiciously.

10. Bottom-line orientation. Who would say this? People who like to skip all the details it takes to get to the bottom line?

Post-mortem mayhem

This may qualify as morbid, but after examining the ridiculous outpouring of fascination that came with Michael Jackson's funeral and memorial service, I wondered who else could generate such a remarkable buzz? The person in question has to obviously have extremely high levels of national importance, but also has to be young enough where death is unexpected, and therefore additionally fascinating. My list of celebrities who would generate the same level of post-mortem mayhem.

1. Oprah Winfrey. The one-woman empire has become one of the history's most influential voices, and her untimely passing would rival -- if not surpass -- the fanfare of Jackson.

2. Barack Obama. Obviously. In his first several months as president, Obama has been polarizing and uplifting simultaneously, bringing about some questionable economic tactics to some and creating a new Camelot to others. The world would remember him as an icon if he passed.

3. Tiger Woods. Arguably the most recognizable sports figure today, his already-cemented legend would be eternal if he were to get a tee time at the big par-5 in the sky.

4. Madonna. Like Jackson, she has been a bit of an enigma through the years, but her star has never faded. Adored by papparazzi flash bulbs her entire life, Madonna's death (attacked by large feline on a gondola?) would become a worldwide phenomenon unrivaled abroad by the above celebs.

5. LeBron James or Kobe Bryant. They've become harder to separate as heirs apparent to the Michael Jordan throne, and they're obviously young enough where death would be highly unexpected. Kobe is already a Hall of Famer if he never plays another game of hoops, and I think James would find himself there if he disappeared from the game.

6. Brett Favre. Sick as it sounds, the world has bought into the media whoring done by the celebrated gunslinger, and I think his passing (attacked by a gator?) would create a new level of fascination and ridiculousness. He's more polarizing than any Wisconsin state politician has ever been, even Joe McCarthy.

7. Tom Hanks. It remains up for debate who has become the nation's biggest actor, with Brad Pitt probably owning the rights to the title and Tom Cruise in second. But Hanks is such an accessible, likeable persona, and every movie he makes is basically a blockbuster. People would be less excited about his passing and mostly just saddened.

8. Britney Spears. The world can't seem to get enough of the fallen pop goddess, more enamored with her scandals than any of her music, which has become a sideshow to the hilarious main story. Her death would be greeted with talk of cautionary tales and "what could have been" if she had followed a cleaner path. But millions will turn out to mourn her.

9. Kanye West. Explosive, controversial, creative and groundbreaking, West has cultivated a following that transcends his life as a hip-hop artist and makes him one of the more enigmatic, yet refreshing personalities in the biz.

10. Will Smith. Somehow, the Fresh Prince went from semi-comical laugh guy to serious, highly-respected actor who has done blockbuster action thrillers and Oscar-nominated biopics alike. His death would be widely discussed and shocking.

The best of the little guys

Recently-deceased Steve McNair was notable for his alma mater, Alcorn State, making him one of the ambassadors of traditionally-black colleges in the National Football League. Such standouts are more common than you might think, with this all-star list as an example (which borrows liberally from ESPN.com).

1. Jerry Rice, Mississippi Valley State (1981-85). Rice played a wide-open style of offense with coach Archie Cooley and quarterback Willie Totten, who is now the head coach of the Delta Devils. In his senior year, Rice caught 100 passes for 1,845 yards and scored 28 touchdowns. He teamed up with John Taylor and quarterback Joe Montana to form a great passing combination with the San Francisco 49ers in the NFL.

2. Walter Payton, Jackson State (1971-75). Payton rushed for 3,563 yards in four years at Jackson State. It was in college that Payton picked up his nickname "Sweetness" because of the smooth way he ran. He had a great career with the Chicago Bears. The Hall of Famer is one of the NFL's all-time leading rushers.

3. Doug Williams, Grambling State (1974-78). Williams was a first-team All-American and finished fourth in Heisman Trophy voting in 1978. During his college career, he passed for 8,411 yards and 93 touchdowns. In 1988, Williams had the greatest day of his NFL career when he led the Washington Redskins to victory over the Denver Broncos in Super Bowl XXII.

4. Jackie Slater, Jackson State (1972-76). Slater was one of the best offensive linemen to ever play in the SWAC. He was a three-time all-conference selection.

5. Ed "Too Tall" Jones, Tennessee State (1970-74). Jones, a 6-9 pass rusher, lived up to his nickname. He was the most dominating defensive player in the nation, and was the first player selected overall by the Dallas Cowboys in the 1974 NFL draft.

6. Deacon Jones, South Carolina State/Mississippi Vocational (1958-60). If they had kept statistics for sacks, Jones' playing career would have been off the charts. His strength and quickness terrorized offensive linemen and caused nightmares for quarterbacks.

7. Buck Buchanan, Grambling State (1959-63). Buchanan was an NAIA All-American with the Tigers. He could bat down passes with either hand, play the run and rush the passer. He is one of four G-Men in the Hall of Fame.

8. Willie Davis, Grambling State (1952-56). Davis was one of the greatest players to ever play at Grambling State. He had outstanding quickness and athletic ability. He ended up having a Hall of Fame career with the Green Bay Packers.

9. Rayfield Wright, Fort Valley State (1963-67). Wright had great athleticism, playing tight end and offensive tackle in college. He was a seventh-round pick of the Dallas Cowboys in the 1967 NFL draft. Two years ago, he was inducted into the Pro Football Hall of Fame.

10. John Taylor, Delaware State (1983-86). Taylor did it all in college. He was a brilliant wide receiver who earned All-MEAC honors during his career. His career totals include 100 receptions for 2,426 yards and 33 touchdowns, four rushing touchdowns, 339 yards rushing and four punts returned for TDs.

The rock list

I endured a large disappointment Friday when I went to see Shinedown at Summerfest. The July 3 crowd was overwhelming with those trying to glimpse the annual Big Bang fireworks (and hte band), and it was absolutely impossible to enjoy the Shinedown experience. We should have gotten there hours in advance apparently, and our late arrival meant we had to battle our way through crowds that resembled brick walls. I saw maybe four songs and left, unable to really see or hear anything of substance.

So Shinedown remains near the top of my list of bands that I want to see, and I'm brutally saddened that I couldn't truly cross them off my list Friday. Here's the list as it stands:

1. Hurt. They're coming back to Milwaukee, but it's hard to find a rock and roll buddy who likes the stylings of this unusual but highly intriguing band.

2. Shinedown. I have seen them once, but it was an erratic performance using first-album material only. The next two albums have been awesome, and I look forward to the day I can see them perform without worrying about my life.

3. Chevelle. Another band I would love to see a second time. Perhaps I can convince loyal reader Drew to meet me in Rochester, Minnesota for the Stimulate This tour on July 31.

4. Flyleaf. Their debut album was laden with songs that could only be described as "radio-ready," but they have a lot of energy and a sound I enjoy.

5. Our Lady Peace. Always on my list.

6. Stone Sour. I much enjoyed their last disc and would be curious to see Slipknot without the masks and with the harmonies.

7. Tool. Part of me knows it will be way too creepy and weird. But it would satisfy my curiosity.

8. System of a Down. See "Tool."

9 8stops7. Impossible because the band has disbanded, but they had one of the best albums I've ever owned when "In Moderation" appeared in the late 90s.

10. Matchbox 20. Not the current version, though -- I'd want to see them when they were touring on their first two albums. I suppose that's unrealistic.

Summerfest Review: Staind

On Tuesday, I went back to Summerfest for a band that I have seen before and greatly enjoy -- Staind, which played to a large crowd at one of the two rock stages. Occasional Trampoline Bear reader Karl and I got to the gate before 8 o'clock, which meant $2 admission. Regardless of the quality of performance, that is a good deal, my friends.

Let's get to the review.

1. I feel old once again. This time it's not because the band is aging (though they're not spring chickens, either). Everyone in the crowd was young, which I was prepared for, but they were SO young. The big screen which zoomed in on the band occasionally gave crowd shots, and I would have felt like it was a Sesame Street concert, except all the chilluns were wearing black and had piercings. I wondered aloud if this is when you feel old, or you feel old when you realize all your fellow concert goers are middle aged like yourself and the band you love is considered "classic rock."

2. The hits you don't hear. You know a band has been around a while (since 1996!) when there are countless hit singles you don't hear in a live show. In this case, I present a list: Just Go, Home, Fade, Epiphany, How About You, Price to Play, Black, Zoe Jane, Everything Changes, newest single All I Want. None of them were played, with several album tracks getting spins (but surprisingly, not all that many off the new album).

3. Cram session. In an effort to brush up on some of the material, I purchased the newest Staind CD (and presented it to Karl as a birthday gift) and tried listening to the new songs. I figured the top few on the album would be most likely to see the stage, and I was largely correct, but I still didn't know the songs very well and completely missed some. Track one "This is It" will be among my new Staind favorites.

4. Misguided opener. Not a fan of the song they chose to open with, one that I've never heard before and can't seem to match up on the new album. It was much better after that, but I can't remember the last time I saw a well-known band and couldn't identify the first song at all.

5. Blah blah blah, hate the world. I really like Staind musically, but there is an inherent guilt in singing along with these tunes, which are simplistic, anti-social anthems largely touching on the same themes over and over. They're just not a lyrically challenging band, and it amazes me that so many people connect so deeply with the dreary content.

6. Stand-at-the-mic. I have expressed my displeasure in the past for bands that have lead singers who play guitar, leaving them strapped to the microphone and unable to really energize a crowd. Lewis plays guitar on most songs and does limited work otherwise, so in that regard, the show was not as electric as many rock bands can be.

7. Opening band: Halestorm. With a chick lead singer and a lead single called "I Get Off," I expected a very dirty, possibly unwelcome lead-in offering. But lead singer Lizzy Hale is very gifted vocally, and I found myself liking the band a lot. They talked to the crowd too much (while Aaron Lewis did virtually no banter), but they had some catchy tunes. One song sounded a lot like "Piece of My Heart," and after Karl commented as such, the band broke into a cover of that very song. Curious.

8. It's Been Awhile. I don't really understand it, but the song "It's Been Awhile" will be Staind's signature anthem, and you could tell because the sing-along was very evident with the crowd Tuesday. It was a nice penultimate performance, with "Mudshovel" closing out the show to high energy (no encore...weird). I think Staind has many better songs, but this is the one that has stuck.

9. Good set list. My two favorite Staind songs, "Falling" and "So Far Away," borrowing from the opposite spectrums of Staind's aresenal, were played back-to-back early in the show, which pleased me. I also enjoyed the Mudshovel experience to close the show, along with staples "For You" and "Right Here."

10. You know what you're getting. Staind is not going to wow you with their songwriting accumen or a cutting-edge live show. They have the calm lead singer, the vibrating and animated guitarist (Mike Mushok) and plenty of radio-friendly hits. If you want to be impressed, probably not your show. If you want to enjoy some rock hits easily identifiable with the late 90s and early 00s, then this is the one for you.

Summerfest review: Better Than Ezra

Do you want to feel older? How about attending a concert starring a band you liked when you were growing up. I did that last year when I watched an aging, crumbling Gin Blossoms take a small stage at the Wisconsin State Fair, but apparently I didnt't learn my lesson. Sunday night, I thought it would be a fun idea to watch Better Than Ezra, playing live at the Miller Oasis on Day 4 of Summerfest. The review:

1. Older, slower. I've said before how irritated I get when bands play slower than their studio pace. Better Than Ezra is much, much slower -- turning fairly intense songs like "Desperately Wanting" into a more polite, calming sing-along. This is what happens when you get older.

2. Amazing weather. Sure, there are big crowds sometimes and pricy foods, but when the weather is right, there is nothing like Summerfest concert-going. The flawless 73-degree temperatures combined with a gentle but relenting breeze to make for a completely comfortable night. I only wish it could have been a bigger and badder band for such climate control.

3. New album? Really? The band seemed pretty pumped about a recent album, Paper Empire, and played several songs including "Turn Up the Bright Lights" and "All In." They said this new album was their best one, which I realize they're contractually obligated to say. But who knew this band was still making new music? The new stuff sounds like the old stuff, to no one's surprise.

4. Covers aplenty. I greatly approve of a band that's willing to play some cover songs, especially from those outside their genre. They played "Laid" by James (a song they cover on their greatest hits album), "Miss You" by Rolling Stones (the song that starts oooh-oooh-oo-oo-oo, oooh-oooh-oo-oo-oo) and even some samples of "Boom Boom Pow" and "Poker Face." I think they threw a Cheap Trick song in there that I didn't know.

5. New drummer. They introduced a new drummer at the show, which was cool, but a quick glance at Wikipedia says the old one is currently the drummer for country music powerhouse Sugarland. Can't say I saw that coming. He basically had to choose between the two bands.

6. Jazzy? The band said the first time they played in Milwaukee, the Oasis stage was for jazz music, and Better Than Ezra fit the bill as a jazz band. Wikipedia does not confirm this, so I'm not sure if it's true, but they are from New Orleans (which is known for its jazz).

7. I texted Drew Wolf. A BTE fan, I let Drew know that he should be jealous.

8. The new "one big hit formula." I've decided bands with a major hit that everyone knows, as with "Good" for this band, have a formula -- play it second. Start with a song you like that gets you fired up, then get the hit out of the way. How can bands look you in the face and say they actually like this song that they've played thousands of times? With "the hit" out of the way, the band could focus its energies elsewhere.

9. Juicy! You know that Desperate Housewives song and tune you occasionally hear on Applebee's commercials, "Juicy"? That's a Better Than Ezra song. Who knew?

10. The new single. I really like "Absolutely Still," which is the first single from the new BTE album. I imagine the band will be around for a while more, kind of a background offering that occasionally shows up at festivals like this one.

The inevitable tribute album

Naturally, a covers album paying tribute to Michael Jackson will need to appear on store shelves sometime soon, and I would like to be executive producer. Here is what I demand.

1. Smooth Criminal by Alien Ant Farm. Duh. The tongue-in-cheek rockers took a relatively well-known Jackson song, added some adrenaline to it and made it a hit all over again.

2. Billie Jean by Chris Cornell. Introduced to the world via the vessel of David Cook on American Idol, the song is a stripped down version of the dance classic, illustrating a softer, vulnerable delivery that I’m not sure fits the song. But it’s awesome to hear such an elegant and dramatic twist.

3. Beat It by Fall Out Boy. Speaking of tongue-in-cheek rockers, I kind of like the loyal rendition of this song, which is really just a re-telling with the modern untalented voice of pop radio.

4. She’s Out of My Life by Willie Nelson. I didn’t know he covered this song, but since he did “You Were Always On My Mind” such great justice, I’m not surprised that he would take the heartfelt Jackson tune and make it into a country ballad.

5. Thriller by Linkin Park. Now we depart to the “suggestions” part of the list instead of actually-released covers. I have long felt that Chester Bennington’s screaming voice would be flawless on this song, and Mike Shinoda could rap through the fairly pedestrian, rhyme-heavy lyrics in the meantime. Gold.

6. Bad by Foo Fighters. This song has the potential to be a lot of fun in the right hands, treated at moments as a rock song and at moments as just a good-natured and amusing offering. I can see Dave Grohl in the leather jacket Jackson wore in the video.

7. You Are Not Alone by Killers. I just can’t get this sudden new upbeat backdrop, and Brandon Flowers singing the lyrics with his familiar touch, out of my head. It seems like kind of a mismatch, since the Killers don’t really perform songs lacking six layers of metaphor, but I just have a good vibe on this.

8. Man In the Mirror by Coldplay. I get the feeling this is going to be the staple tune of the soundtrack, which means it’s going to need a pretty familiar voice rocking the vocals. The piano accompaniment would make this song simple, as it’s meant to be.

9. Human Nature by Tool. A simple melody and innocent song – let’s make it darker and more evil with some Tool. I don’t know how it will sound, but I trust Maynard and his amazing musicianship to turn it around.

10. Black of White by U2. Bono is all over the uplifting shit.